Disparate [dis-PER-it]

Things that were on my front porch this week...

• couch, bisected by a chainsaw earlier this month;
• broken fenceboards (victims of lacrosse balls), assorted sizes;
• wrought-iron "pick-up truck" floral planter with fake flowers from last fall, slightly flattened, most likely due to prolonged contact with the aforementioned couch. Note to self: get rid of the cute, country truck planter.... you're just not "country". Not even a little bit.
• worn doormat, severely deteriorating on one side, imprinted with the query, "got dirt? (answer: "yes");
• orange Home Depot bucket;
• empty, plastic milk carton;
• two white kitchen-size trash bags, ALMOST full of stuff, ALMOST ready to go to D.I.;
• athletic cup (WTH?);
• 20 oz. plastic Mountain Dew bottle, 1/3 full (really hoping it doesn't have anything to do with the athletic cup);
• two bags of IceMelt, both of them open;
• one spoon;
• broken sprinkler;
• yellow, plastic, wasp trap;
• various and sundry spider webs, dead leaves, detritus;

... time to focus on some curb appeal...